The first 24 hours...or so...

If I could somehow get paid lots of money to worry as much one could possibly worry, I would be a multi-millionaire. And, I would have doubled my income on the night prior to Sahar’s arrival. That was a challenging night at the Coker house – those proverbial moments just before we took the big plunge. Since we first decided to participate in Solace, I had been overly concerned about the age of the child we would host. I was adamant that we have a child close in age to Caroline, and definitely not older than Caroline, who turns 9 today – I didn’t really have any good reasoning or justification for that, but was adamant about it, nonetheless. So, I was uneasy when I first learned that Sahar, the child we would host, was 11 years old. However, when we received a picture of her a couple of months ago, and she looked so sweet – I told myself it would be okay. Then, just around midnight on Tuesday night (the evening prior to Sahar’s arrival), Angie Cosper e-mailed to all the host families pictures of the Solace children in route to America. At first, Sara and I couldn’t even identify Sahar in any of those pictures. Then, by process of elimination, we found her, and she looked 18, and very tall. So, I – at that point – kind of freaked out. I didn’t sleep a wink that night, and obsessively worried about how we could possibly tell Caroline the next morning that she would soon be sharing her room with a very tall 18 year old.

The next (dreaded) morning, I was reminded of just why I married the woman with whom I have spent almost 14 years now. Sara showed Caroline those pictures, and handled the conversation with an ease and style that left me speechless. And, then I watched Caroline’s reaction to what Sara had said, and I immediately became one proud Daddy. Then, I began feeling like a real idiot for the way in which I had reacted – all night long.

I also reached a realization that morning – okay, Sara told me – that few of the visiting children were matched with host families having children the same age as the visiting children. And, I realized there was probably a good reason for that, based on experience well beyond any experience I had with the program (which was none, at that point). So, I felt like an even bigger idiot.

Next, we ventured to the airport, and in the hour we spent waiting on the children to arrive, I felt a growing level of love, energy, and anticipation like I have rarely experienced before. Sara, the kids, and I were there, Dorothy (Sara’s mom) and Stephen (brother) were there. Rev. Susan Takis, one of our Pastors from South Jax Presbyterian, was there. All of the host families and their supporters were there. The media, including our friend, Deanna Fene’ Holland, from First Coast News was there with cameraman in tow. Then, Angie Cosper ventured past the security checkpoint to escort the children from the plane to the awaiting throng of supporters. It was a great moment when we watched Angie and the group of Afghan children round the corner, and begin heading toward us. Then, I realized something – these kids were all really short, and while Sahar was tall relative to many of them, she definitely was not the WNBA star I had pictured in the previous hours. Essentially, what I saw at that moment was an absolutely beautiful group of children, all with hope beaming from their faces. Then, we saw Sahar and she saw us, holding a sign with her picture on it – then, we met her – what an amazing, emotional moment that was. Wow.

We had some time with the interpreters to make introductions, and then we headed home, with Chris fussing from lack of a nap, most of the way. The next few hours were, overall, good – there were some challenges and adjustments for all of us, but I think we all – including Sahar – handled it well. Sahar was, understandably, exhausted. Our family is approaching every challenge and interaction with the constant awareness that this is a young woman who resides in an orphanage on the other side of the world. We cannot even imagine her frame of reference on life, on America, and on us.

Sahar is very reserved and quiet, so, engaging her has been a challenge for us (as if the substantial language barrier was not enough already). I believe I drove her nuts the first day, following her around the house with my 80-page Dari to English translation guide, pointing out everything we encountered in her language (…sofa, lamp, etc…).

I could say so much more, but my allotted blogging time has expired for now – I’ll provide more info later, including a report from the numerous medical appointments, which Sahar begins today, as well as our coveted time with an interpreter scheduled for this evening. And finally, Happy 9th Birthday to our Sweet Caroline!!

Bryan