For those of you who may still be checking in and following the blog, I wanted to share a couple of links to some recent media coverage...
A First Coast News story on Sahar's departure from Jacksonville...
http://www.firstcoastnews.com/video/default.aspx?bctid=194062893001#/Solace%20Children%20Going%20Home%20/194062893001
NBC Nightly News did a fantastic story on the Solace branch in Los Angeles...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/38529577#38529577
It's so wonderful to see the great news of Solace spreading in so many different ways!
Bryan
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Danita Brooks Photos
Many, many thanks to Danita Brooks, who generously and graciously provided individual photography sessions for each of the Jacksonville Solace families, to give both the Afghan children and American host families special mementos of this incredible experience. Some of the pics from our session are below...
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Lots of Emotions
As I write this post, Sahar and the other Solace children are probably just now venturing out over the Atlantic Ocean, en route from Dulles airport in DC to Dubai. Caroline finally fell asleep about an hour ago – she had been sobbing pretty much non-stop since saying goodbye to Sahar at the airport. This is tough – knowing that someone with whom our family has shared so much, and to whom we have grown so close, is getting farther away from us every minute, and will soon be on the other side of the globe. For Caroline, at nine years old, it’s still a difficult concept to grasp and comprehend. Some of you out there may be asking why in the world our family chose to do this, and put ourselves through these emotions. That’s a valid question, and I have actually asked myself that question more than once tonight.
Tonight, I have encouraged Caroline to find joy in the fact that we had such a good experience with Sahar – we were blessed to have such a brilliant, sweet, mature, and beautiful girl in our presence. While we would love to keep Sahar here with us indefinitely, she has a family who must be missing her immensely, and who likely anguished over the decision to let her travel to America in the first place. We continue to struggle with the concept of her being in an orphanage, yet still having a family, but Sahar’s love for – and connection to – her family seems so strong and genuine.
Tonight, Caroline and I happily discussed how much Sahar changed over six weeks… The first few days, we struggled to get her out of the bedroom and we saw her eat very little. Recently, we had found ourselves having to force bedtime on her, and we struggled to keep the house stocked with her favorite foods.
I have many more thoughts to share, and plan to do so in subsequent posts. For now, this is an Irish blessing which I found and posted as my Facebook status earlier today…
Bryan
Tonight, I have encouraged Caroline to find joy in the fact that we had such a good experience with Sahar – we were blessed to have such a brilliant, sweet, mature, and beautiful girl in our presence. While we would love to keep Sahar here with us indefinitely, she has a family who must be missing her immensely, and who likely anguished over the decision to let her travel to America in the first place. We continue to struggle with the concept of her being in an orphanage, yet still having a family, but Sahar’s love for – and connection to – her family seems so strong and genuine.
Tonight, Caroline and I happily discussed how much Sahar changed over six weeks… The first few days, we struggled to get her out of the bedroom and we saw her eat very little. Recently, we had found ourselves having to force bedtime on her, and we struggled to keep the house stocked with her favorite foods.
I have many more thoughts to share, and plan to do so in subsequent posts. For now, this is an Irish blessing which I found and posted as my Facebook status earlier today…
To our Afghan daughter, Sahar: "May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind
be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall
softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow
of his hand..."
Bryan
Emotional Roller Coaster
Sahar and the other children did not depart yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon, as originally planned. Due to flight delays, they actually left from Jacksonville this afternoon (Thursday). Unfortunately, we only learned of this change yesterday, after arriving with the children at the airport. While an extra night was undoubtedly a gift, the delay – and two trips to the airport – made for an emotional roller coaster. Caroline has taken Sahar’s departure especially hard – I wish I could make it easier for her. I don’t think Sahar has really known how to feel – she was excited about returning to the familiar and seeing her family, but she was undoubtedly sad to leave, at the same time.
My available time at the airport today was limited, so I ended up saying my goodbye to Sahar as she attempted to eat her lunch from Burger King. Not exactly how I had pictured the moment… My understanding from Sara is that the group goodbye was pretty emotional for all involved.
By my estimate, it looks as if they children should return to Kabul around 7 AM Saturday morning (Kabul time), which would be later Friday night here in the States.
Right now, I am personally feeling pretty bummed – I will miss seeing Sahar when I go home tonight, and seeing Caroline so sad just breaks my heart.
The emotional roller coaster continues…
Bryan
My available time at the airport today was limited, so I ended up saying my goodbye to Sahar as she attempted to eat her lunch from Burger King. Not exactly how I had pictured the moment… My understanding from Sara is that the group goodbye was pretty emotional for all involved.
By my estimate, it looks as if they children should return to Kabul around 7 AM Saturday morning (Kabul time), which would be later Friday night here in the States.
Right now, I am personally feeling pretty bummed – I will miss seeing Sahar when I go home tonight, and seeing Caroline so sad just breaks my heart.
The emotional roller coaster continues…
Bryan
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Saying Farewell
In all honesty, I have been dreading the children’s departure day, ever since we decided to participate in Solace and now, that day is upon us. I am just not a fan of “goodbyes”. I’ll admit that I have been known to strategically avoid tough goodbyes over the years.
The good news is that I feel better about Sahar’s departure than I originally imagined I would. She continues to be excited about her return – she seems quite ready to see her family again. I guess I had originally envisioned having to send our Afghan child back to a cold and lonely orphanage, deserted by her family. Thus, I am relieved that this is not the case with Sahar.
Sara and Sahar spent a good part of yesterday deciding what Sahar would be taking back with her, all of which must fit in a suitcase not to exceed 42 pounds. I think we currently have the suitcase weight down to 45 pounds or so…hopefully light enough for the Afghan airline providing transportation from Dubai to Kabul.
Yesterday, we received news that the flight for the children had been moved up a few hours, thus, we will be delivering Sahar to the airport around 4:30 PM this afternoon. Of course, we have mixed emotions about this – we’re excited for Sahar and the other children to return to their homes, but sad about the goodbyes. And, there’s that nagging thought in the back of my mind, from my previous conversation with Sahar…"No, my family doesn’t feel safe in Kabul…"
Please hold Sahar and the other children close to your hearts in prayer.
Bryan
The good news is that I feel better about Sahar’s departure than I originally imagined I would. She continues to be excited about her return – she seems quite ready to see her family again. I guess I had originally envisioned having to send our Afghan child back to a cold and lonely orphanage, deserted by her family. Thus, I am relieved that this is not the case with Sahar.
Sara and Sahar spent a good part of yesterday deciding what Sahar would be taking back with her, all of which must fit in a suitcase not to exceed 42 pounds. I think we currently have the suitcase weight down to 45 pounds or so…hopefully light enough for the Afghan airline providing transportation from Dubai to Kabul.
Yesterday, we received news that the flight for the children had been moved up a few hours, thus, we will be delivering Sahar to the airport around 4:30 PM this afternoon. Of course, we have mixed emotions about this – we’re excited for Sahar and the other children to return to their homes, but sad about the goodbyes. And, there’s that nagging thought in the back of my mind, from my previous conversation with Sahar…"No, my family doesn’t feel safe in Kabul…"
Please hold Sahar and the other children close to your hearts in prayer.
Bryan
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Looking towards departure...
We have departure info – Sahar and friends will be departing from Jacksonville International Airport next Wednesday evening (July 14) around 10:00 PM. The host families will be arriving at JIA with the children around 7: 30 PM. This time next week, the children should be back in Afghanistan – that’s tough to comprehend right now – that these children to whom we’ve grown so close in such a short time will, once again, be a world away from us in a matter of a few days.
I hope this has been a good experience for Sahar – she’s so tough to read much of the time. For us, I believe and hope we will look back on the experience as an extremely positive one for our family – especially the challenges we encountered along the way.
Sahar has one final dentist appointment tomorrow (Friday) morning, at which she will once again have teeth pulled and cavities filled. She’s endured a significant amount of dental work in a brief period of time, and has handled it like a real trooper. She’ll be taking some cool zebra-striped retainers back with her, and we keep reminding her that she better wear them back in Afghanistan!
On Tuesday night, we took in a Jacksonville Suns baseball game downtown with the other children and host families. Sahar learned she doesn’t really care for baseball, but that she does enjoy buttered popcorn.
In the coming days, we’ll be pulling together what Sahar is going to take back with her to Afghanistan – clothing, gifts she’s received, mementos, etc. We’ll be sending the group of children back with goods and supplies for their families, schools, and orphanages. Caroline and Sahar are currently working together on scrapbooks of Sahar’s experience. Each host family has been asked to write a letter to our child, which an interpreter will read with the child on the return flights to Afghanistan.
There is a chance that Sahar could return with the Solace program again next summer, provided she has continuing needs which could be met through the program. We would love to have her with us again, but we understand it’s difficult to predict what life will be like for us and for Sahar a year from now. Thus, the Solace program advises us against making promises like “We’ll see you next year”.
Feroza, the girl with the severely burned arm who resided in such a remote area, had surgery performed on her arm today, and we understand that she remains in the hospital tonight. Please keep her in your prayers. Hussein is a five-year old boy being tested and seeing various doctors for severe heart and lung problems – he is a precious child who has a tough road ahead – please say a special prayer for him, his host family, and his family back home. I could put forth many more prayer requests for these precious children – there are so many incredible stories.
Some have asked how Sahar refers to Sara and me – it’s pretty simple – “mom” and “dad”. And, when she calls us from across the room in her sweet voice and with that accent, I have to admit it’s pretty darn cute.
Bryan
I hope this has been a good experience for Sahar – she’s so tough to read much of the time. For us, I believe and hope we will look back on the experience as an extremely positive one for our family – especially the challenges we encountered along the way.
Sahar has one final dentist appointment tomorrow (Friday) morning, at which she will once again have teeth pulled and cavities filled. She’s endured a significant amount of dental work in a brief period of time, and has handled it like a real trooper. She’ll be taking some cool zebra-striped retainers back with her, and we keep reminding her that she better wear them back in Afghanistan!
On Tuesday night, we took in a Jacksonville Suns baseball game downtown with the other children and host families. Sahar learned she doesn’t really care for baseball, but that she does enjoy buttered popcorn.
In the coming days, we’ll be pulling together what Sahar is going to take back with her to Afghanistan – clothing, gifts she’s received, mementos, etc. We’ll be sending the group of children back with goods and supplies for their families, schools, and orphanages. Caroline and Sahar are currently working together on scrapbooks of Sahar’s experience. Each host family has been asked to write a letter to our child, which an interpreter will read with the child on the return flights to Afghanistan.
There is a chance that Sahar could return with the Solace program again next summer, provided she has continuing needs which could be met through the program. We would love to have her with us again, but we understand it’s difficult to predict what life will be like for us and for Sahar a year from now. Thus, the Solace program advises us against making promises like “We’ll see you next year”.
Feroza, the girl with the severely burned arm who resided in such a remote area, had surgery performed on her arm today, and we understand that she remains in the hospital tonight. Please keep her in your prayers. Hussein is a five-year old boy being tested and seeing various doctors for severe heart and lung problems – he is a precious child who has a tough road ahead – please say a special prayer for him, his host family, and his family back home. I could put forth many more prayer requests for these precious children – there are so many incredible stories.
Some have asked how Sahar refers to Sara and me – it’s pretty simple – “mom” and “dad”. And, when she calls us from across the room in her sweet voice and with that accent, I have to admit it’s pretty darn cute.
Bryan
Monday, July 5, 2010
I didn’t want to hear that…
Last night, I began a blog entry – which I never finished – writing about how it was 10 days until Sahar and the other children returned to Afghanistan (they return Wednesday, July 14) – I spoke of how Sahar was ready to return home, and we were comfortable and at peace with the idea of her returning. Twenty-four hours later, I feel slightly different about things. Sahar was very chatty and conversational with Sara and me today – the most she’s been during her time here. Earlier tonight, just Sahar and I were riding together to another host family’s home, and I took the opportunity to ask her some different questions. Later in our conversation, I asked Sahar if she heard or knew much about the fighting (the war) in Afghanistan, and she answered “no”, essentially saying her parents tended to shield her from that information. I then asked Sahar, “So, you feel safe in Kabul, right…?” She then looked at me and said adamantly, “No – my family does not feel safe in Kabul.” She almost laughed, in a serious kind of way, that I would even ask that question… Yikes, I did not want to hear that from her…
Prior to this experience beginning, my biggest worry had been how our family would handle the inevitable “goodbye” with Sahar. I had grown more comfortable and at peace with the idea, given that Sahar has a family in Afghanistan awaiting her return, even if she does not live with that family all the time. However, when she spoke about the safety issue tonight, it was, honestly, like a small dagger in my heart. Selfishly, I want to believe that Sahar is returning to an ideal situation – one where she can be happy and, of course, safe. Any assertion to the contrary makes saying “goodbye” to her even more difficult.
Sahar and I have talked often about her aspirations for the future, and she says that she hopes to attend college in America. I have told her, if she does move forward on that path, I will likely be in a position to help her, given my chosen profession. And, I believe college in America is a strong possibility for her, given what I have observed of her drive, motivation, and intelligence – this young woman, as far as I can tell, is brilliant. So, I would like to think that God’s plans for Sahar and for our family will, at some point, intersect yet again.
As I previously referenced, Sahar does seem ready, overall, to return to Afghanistan – she recently shared with us that she misses her family, particularly her mother. She seems very close to her family, with many members of her extended family living together in one residence in Kabul.
So, Sahar came to America with the Solace program largely because of the chronic headaches from which she suffers – we are often asked about the progress in addressing that issue. That’s a tough question for us… Simply put, we don’t think Sahar has experienced many headaches at all since she has been here with us. Her medical evaluations have not identified any issues which would cause the headaches, and even her numerous dental issues should not be causing such serious chronic headaches. So, we’re a bit perplexed on this question. Regardless, it could be that the pollution and other environmental factors in Kabul cause Sahar’s headaches, or it could even be her diet... Sahar isn’t much of a breakfast eater, but Sara now insists that Sahar eat a good breakfast daily. Regardless, Sahar will be returning home with many significant dental issues addressed, and hopefully, some better dietary habits (well, except for the potato chip thing).
Yesterday was a fourth of July like none other for our family…spending the evening with a group of children from Afghanistan, sharing with them our celebration of freedom. I can’t think of a better way to honor our founding fathers and all those who have fought for our freedom and independence, than by sharing these abundant blessings with others.
Bryan
Prior to this experience beginning, my biggest worry had been how our family would handle the inevitable “goodbye” with Sahar. I had grown more comfortable and at peace with the idea, given that Sahar has a family in Afghanistan awaiting her return, even if she does not live with that family all the time. However, when she spoke about the safety issue tonight, it was, honestly, like a small dagger in my heart. Selfishly, I want to believe that Sahar is returning to an ideal situation – one where she can be happy and, of course, safe. Any assertion to the contrary makes saying “goodbye” to her even more difficult.
Sahar and I have talked often about her aspirations for the future, and she says that she hopes to attend college in America. I have told her, if she does move forward on that path, I will likely be in a position to help her, given my chosen profession. And, I believe college in America is a strong possibility for her, given what I have observed of her drive, motivation, and intelligence – this young woman, as far as I can tell, is brilliant. So, I would like to think that God’s plans for Sahar and for our family will, at some point, intersect yet again.
As I previously referenced, Sahar does seem ready, overall, to return to Afghanistan – she recently shared with us that she misses her family, particularly her mother. She seems very close to her family, with many members of her extended family living together in one residence in Kabul.
So, Sahar came to America with the Solace program largely because of the chronic headaches from which she suffers – we are often asked about the progress in addressing that issue. That’s a tough question for us… Simply put, we don’t think Sahar has experienced many headaches at all since she has been here with us. Her medical evaluations have not identified any issues which would cause the headaches, and even her numerous dental issues should not be causing such serious chronic headaches. So, we’re a bit perplexed on this question. Regardless, it could be that the pollution and other environmental factors in Kabul cause Sahar’s headaches, or it could even be her diet... Sahar isn’t much of a breakfast eater, but Sara now insists that Sahar eat a good breakfast daily. Regardless, Sahar will be returning home with many significant dental issues addressed, and hopefully, some better dietary habits (well, except for the potato chip thing).
Yesterday was a fourth of July like none other for our family…spending the evening with a group of children from Afghanistan, sharing with them our celebration of freedom. I can’t think of a better way to honor our founding fathers and all those who have fought for our freedom and independence, than by sharing these abundant blessings with others.
Bryan
Friday, July 2, 2010
Photo Update
Spa Day @ Mac Salon in San Marco...
Sahar, Caroline, & Grace @ St. Johns Town Center
Sahar experiences the 3-story Hammock Beach
Water Slide!
Water Slide!
The Atlantic Ocean is growing on Sahar...
Sahar (top) experiences "Pump it Up!"
The Solace crowd @ "Pump it Up!"
The Solace crowd @ "Pump it Up!"
Monday, June 28, 2010
Update from the Beach
I apologize to those blog followers who have been checking faithfully for new posts, and have all but given up on me. What can I say…? Well, just to ease your fears, the answer is “no” – Sahar has not run away from our family, as we feared she might – she’s still here with us, safe and sound, and fitting in quite well. I thought she might run away after Caroline’s 4.5 hour dance recital, but thankfully, she was too tired to run. At the moment, we’re all vacationing at Hammock Beach, an oceanfront resort in Palm Coast, just south of Jacksonville and St. Augustine.
Updates on Sahar…
She has had two major dentist visits recently, both of which involved multiple tooth pullings and fillings, but she’s been a great patient. It’s such a blessing to have our own dentist and friend, Dr. Rick Mullens, working with Sahar – he and his staff could not be more gracious and caring towards Sahar and all the other Solace children.
Here’s a new flash – Sahar likes potato chips. Okay, maybe I should say she deeply loves and covets potato chips… We don’t have chips around that often, but one taste and Sahar was hooked. So, we’ve been keeping chips on the grocery list lately. I mean, this girl can sit down and eat a regular-sized bag of Ruffles in a matter of minutes. For those of you grimacing about us letting Sahar indulge on a less-than-healthy snack, I would invite you to come and watch Sahar eat the chips – I promise you’d let her eat them, too.
A unique bond has definitely formed between Caroline and Sahar – I would describe it as a sort-of little and big sister relationship. Sahar is very mature, and Caroline is – well, she’s our challenge (a sweet, beautiful challenge, but a challenge nonetheless). So, it’s nice to have someone else around (besides Sara and me) reminding Caroline to stay out of trouble, and Caroline typically responds to Sahar’s reminders quite well. At the same time, the two of them have become really good friends, and enjoy being silly girls together. Most of Caroline’s good friends have embraced Sahar as well, and it’s so neat to see all of them together, just being girls.
This blog has been a topic of discussion between Sara and me recently, mainly because of my delay in posting new entries. In general, Sara finds it funny that I am the blog author, since I, of all our family members, probably spend the least amount of time with Sahar. However, let me be clear in stating that Sara has full access and permission to post to this blog, also. Regardless, she’s not posting – and it actually all goes back to a fateful night in our marriage at least 10 years ago, when Sara was finishing her MBA and asked me to proofread a paper for her. I think I made some comments about her writing style, etc…you get the picture.
Sometimes I worry that Sahar thinks our family watches too much TV, because when we’re at home, the TV is often on. That’s simply what happens when you have three children who each have different preferences on TV programming, and they each hope to get to watch one of their shows each day. So, Sahar is taking in a good bit of Dora the Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants, and some girly Disney Channel shows.
I wish I could read Sahar’s mind and know what she thinks about this experience with us – I mean, what she really thinks… Does she think we do too much or do too little? Is she immensely happy here, or is she homesick? I would love to be a fly on the wall when she returns to Afghanistan and first speaks with her friends and family.
More updates soon…
Bryan
Updates on Sahar…
She has had two major dentist visits recently, both of which involved multiple tooth pullings and fillings, but she’s been a great patient. It’s such a blessing to have our own dentist and friend, Dr. Rick Mullens, working with Sahar – he and his staff could not be more gracious and caring towards Sahar and all the other Solace children.
Here’s a new flash – Sahar likes potato chips. Okay, maybe I should say she deeply loves and covets potato chips… We don’t have chips around that often, but one taste and Sahar was hooked. So, we’ve been keeping chips on the grocery list lately. I mean, this girl can sit down and eat a regular-sized bag of Ruffles in a matter of minutes. For those of you grimacing about us letting Sahar indulge on a less-than-healthy snack, I would invite you to come and watch Sahar eat the chips – I promise you’d let her eat them, too.
A unique bond has definitely formed between Caroline and Sahar – I would describe it as a sort-of little and big sister relationship. Sahar is very mature, and Caroline is – well, she’s our challenge (a sweet, beautiful challenge, but a challenge nonetheless). So, it’s nice to have someone else around (besides Sara and me) reminding Caroline to stay out of trouble, and Caroline typically responds to Sahar’s reminders quite well. At the same time, the two of them have become really good friends, and enjoy being silly girls together. Most of Caroline’s good friends have embraced Sahar as well, and it’s so neat to see all of them together, just being girls.
This blog has been a topic of discussion between Sara and me recently, mainly because of my delay in posting new entries. In general, Sara finds it funny that I am the blog author, since I, of all our family members, probably spend the least amount of time with Sahar. However, let me be clear in stating that Sara has full access and permission to post to this blog, also. Regardless, she’s not posting – and it actually all goes back to a fateful night in our marriage at least 10 years ago, when Sara was finishing her MBA and asked me to proofread a paper for her. I think I made some comments about her writing style, etc…you get the picture.
Sometimes I worry that Sahar thinks our family watches too much TV, because when we’re at home, the TV is often on. That’s simply what happens when you have three children who each have different preferences on TV programming, and they each hope to get to watch one of their shows each day. So, Sahar is taking in a good bit of Dora the Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants, and some girly Disney Channel shows.
I wish I could read Sahar’s mind and know what she thinks about this experience with us – I mean, what she really thinks… Does she think we do too much or do too little? Is she immensely happy here, or is she homesick? I would love to be a fly on the wall when she returns to Afghanistan and first speaks with her friends and family.
More updates soon…
Bryan
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Overdue Update
My sincere apologies for the hiatus in new posts recently - I decided to take a break last weekend, and booked myself into the all-inclusive resort known as "Baptist Hospital-Downtown" for four long days, due to a pesky G.I. system issue. Thankfully, all is well and pretty much back to normal with our family now. Thanks to our friends who took such good care of my family during my time away.
In the absence of any inspired posts this week, I'll let some pictures do the talking...
Sahar & Caroline @ the Cummer Museum Gardens
The Jacksonville Solace Crowd @ Montgomery Presbyterian Center
Sahar & Caroline @ Sahar's 1st ever trip to the ocean
Sahar taking in the view...
In the absence of any inspired posts this week, I'll let some pictures do the talking...
Sahar & Caroline @ the Cummer Museum Gardens
The Jacksonville Solace Crowd @ Montgomery Presbyterian Center
Sahar & Caroline @ Sahar's 1st ever trip to the ocean
Sahar taking in the view...
Friday, June 11, 2010
News Story on Feroza
See this link for a First Coast News story on Feroza:
http://tinyurl.com/2cdyyzl
Her story is incredible.
http://tinyurl.com/2cdyyzl
Her story is incredible.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Sleeping Children
I love to watch my children sleeping – it’s one of those “all is right with the world” times for me – I use the time to think about my children’s future…often to pray about those inevitable years when their mom and I will no longer be in control, but also to cherish the current moment. Last night, Sahar fell asleep early, and I had some of that time with her – yet, in this situation, I have had no control or influence on her life up to this point, and in five weeks, I relinquish that control…so, just like with my own children, I prayed about her future – a future in a land I have never even set foot upon. I came away, simply thinking that what our family must do is make all of the difference we can during the remaining time Sahar is here.
Sahar is in for a true “experience” next week…it’s the week of Caroline’s dance recital. Where do I even begin, in attempting to describe what that week involves each year? The stress is palpable…extra-long rehearsals, lost tights, shoes in need of last-minute painting, a little sleep deprivation…you get the picture. Heck, I am afraid of the dance studio all year long – I definitely would never set foot near the studio during the week of the recital. The recital itself is a true spectacle – flowers everywhere, coveted backstage passes, and when the auditorium doors open – there is running, yelling, and gnashing of teeth in the effort to get just the right seats. We’ll see how Sahar does with the experience…thus far, she’s just said, “No dancing in Afghanistan…”
Sahar and food – we’re doing well. She eats pretty much whatever we eat, and has developed a special affinity for pizza and Mickey-D’s (…not that we eat those things often or anything). Also on the subject of food, thanks to those awesome families who have provided us with meals this week – this experience takes a lot out of you, and not having to worry about the next meal is a huge, huge help.
Yesterday afternoon, all of us gathered with a professional photographer to take some family pictures with Sahar. Each of the host families will eventually do this – it gives each of the children a special picture to take back to Afghanistan. And of course, these are images I believe our family will always treasure, as well.
It’s been a week now since Sahar arrived – on the one hand, the time has passed quickly, and on the other, it seems she’s been here much longer (in a good way). She and Caroline are doing so well together now – a definite bond has formed. Tonight, Caroline mentioned to me that Sahar’s departure date in mid-July would be a sad day for her. I assured Caroline that, while it would be a sad day for us all, we should also realize that Sahar will be returning to what is familiar to her – to what she has known her entire life. And, I am so glad Sahar has a family in Afghanistan to whom she will return, regardless of whether she lives with them on a daily basis – there is a family who must be missing her now, and will welcome her back.
Next week, Sahar’s teeth will be further assessed – we are now pretty certain that her serious tooth decay is the source of her chronic headaches.
Thanks to those who have let me know you’re following the blog. The positive words of support have been greatly appreciated. If you want to let me know you’re following it or if you have a question you would like me to answer in a future post, feel free to e-mail me at bcoker1@ju.edu.
Bryan
Sahar is in for a true “experience” next week…it’s the week of Caroline’s dance recital. Where do I even begin, in attempting to describe what that week involves each year? The stress is palpable…extra-long rehearsals, lost tights, shoes in need of last-minute painting, a little sleep deprivation…you get the picture. Heck, I am afraid of the dance studio all year long – I definitely would never set foot near the studio during the week of the recital. The recital itself is a true spectacle – flowers everywhere, coveted backstage passes, and when the auditorium doors open – there is running, yelling, and gnashing of teeth in the effort to get just the right seats. We’ll see how Sahar does with the experience…thus far, she’s just said, “No dancing in Afghanistan…”
Sahar and food – we’re doing well. She eats pretty much whatever we eat, and has developed a special affinity for pizza and Mickey-D’s (…not that we eat those things often or anything). Also on the subject of food, thanks to those awesome families who have provided us with meals this week – this experience takes a lot out of you, and not having to worry about the next meal is a huge, huge help.
Yesterday afternoon, all of us gathered with a professional photographer to take some family pictures with Sahar. Each of the host families will eventually do this – it gives each of the children a special picture to take back to Afghanistan. And of course, these are images I believe our family will always treasure, as well.
It’s been a week now since Sahar arrived – on the one hand, the time has passed quickly, and on the other, it seems she’s been here much longer (in a good way). She and Caroline are doing so well together now – a definite bond has formed. Tonight, Caroline mentioned to me that Sahar’s departure date in mid-July would be a sad day for her. I assured Caroline that, while it would be a sad day for us all, we should also realize that Sahar will be returning to what is familiar to her – to what she has known her entire life. And, I am so glad Sahar has a family in Afghanistan to whom she will return, regardless of whether she lives with them on a daily basis – there is a family who must be missing her now, and will welcome her back.
Next week, Sahar’s teeth will be further assessed – we are now pretty certain that her serious tooth decay is the source of her chronic headaches.
Thanks to those who have let me know you’re following the blog. The positive words of support have been greatly appreciated. If you want to let me know you’re following it or if you have a question you would like me to answer in a future post, feel free to e-mail me at bcoker1@ju.edu.
Bryan
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Some Recent Pictures
Sahar & Solace friends @ San Marco Duck Pond Event
Caroline & Sahar @ San Marco Duck Pond Event
Belated Update
For those who have e-mailed or Facebooked and chastised me for not posting more frequent updates, I apologize – things have been busy…
The past few nights, as I have laid down for bed, I have thought, “there’s a young woman from Afghanistan sleeping under our roof, in the bed right next to our daughter”…I must say, it’s pretty cool. As I have previously stated, this experience is way outside of our family’s traditional comfort zone.
All of the host families have faced challenges already… Some have dealt with homesickness and tears, some have dealt with immediate medical needs and issues…there is a 7 year old boy who cannot hear or speak… There have been cases of head lice – it’s simply something that happens. However, the support network between the host families has already proven itself to be incredible and invaluable. The host families are an extraordinary group of people – while most of us reside in the same area of Jacksonville, not all of us knew each other before Solace. Angie Cosper, the Coordinator for Jacksonville’s Solace program, did a fantastic job recruiting these families – what a giving, caring, enthusiastic group.
One more quick word about the whole “orphanage” concept… I have learned that this Afghan concept of an orphanage, which differs from our American understanding, has a definite basis... Children in Afghan “orphanages” may still have families, but these families have sent them to an orphanage, where they will receive an education, and are most likely to be kept safe.
Some have asked if I saw the anonymous online comments posted about the news stories on Solace last week. Yes, I saw and glanced at some of them – of course, the closed-minded, racist, offensive comments were unfortunate. Some folks asked why we are helping Afghan children and not children in our own country – I suppose that’s a fair question. My response is that we should be doing all we can for our children here and abroad…to simply ignore the global needs would be naïve and irresponsible. I would also recommend that those naysayers learn more about the plight of the war-torn Afghan people, especially the children – it is a very different world from what we know.
For those of you who share Rhodes College connections with Sara and me, I have to brag about a couple of our fellow alumni. Not only is Dr. Chris Emanuel serving as one of the lead pediatricians for the Jacksonville Solace program, but children with Orthopedic needs are seeing Dr. Rick Picerno (married to Andrea Rose Picerno), also Rhodes alums.
Sahar has quickly become a part of our family. Yesterday afternoon, Sara heard her yell “Stop!” at Willam (in a big sister kind of way), when he was incessantly bugging her. William wasn’t deterred, and continued his annoyance. Sahar has also discovered our Wii and managed to beat both Caroline and William in bowling (she says she’s never bowled before?). We’ve also learned that Sahar is extremely social. The other 15 Afghan children seem to flock to her, and are frequent visitors to our house.
There’s much more I want to say, but must save it for later – thanks for the continued interest. I will do my best to provide more updates soon.
Bryan
The past few nights, as I have laid down for bed, I have thought, “there’s a young woman from Afghanistan sleeping under our roof, in the bed right next to our daughter”…I must say, it’s pretty cool. As I have previously stated, this experience is way outside of our family’s traditional comfort zone.
All of the host families have faced challenges already… Some have dealt with homesickness and tears, some have dealt with immediate medical needs and issues…there is a 7 year old boy who cannot hear or speak… There have been cases of head lice – it’s simply something that happens. However, the support network between the host families has already proven itself to be incredible and invaluable. The host families are an extraordinary group of people – while most of us reside in the same area of Jacksonville, not all of us knew each other before Solace. Angie Cosper, the Coordinator for Jacksonville’s Solace program, did a fantastic job recruiting these families – what a giving, caring, enthusiastic group.
One more quick word about the whole “orphanage” concept… I have learned that this Afghan concept of an orphanage, which differs from our American understanding, has a definite basis... Children in Afghan “orphanages” may still have families, but these families have sent them to an orphanage, where they will receive an education, and are most likely to be kept safe.
Some have asked if I saw the anonymous online comments posted about the news stories on Solace last week. Yes, I saw and glanced at some of them – of course, the closed-minded, racist, offensive comments were unfortunate. Some folks asked why we are helping Afghan children and not children in our own country – I suppose that’s a fair question. My response is that we should be doing all we can for our children here and abroad…to simply ignore the global needs would be naïve and irresponsible. I would also recommend that those naysayers learn more about the plight of the war-torn Afghan people, especially the children – it is a very different world from what we know.
For those of you who share Rhodes College connections with Sara and me, I have to brag about a couple of our fellow alumni. Not only is Dr. Chris Emanuel serving as one of the lead pediatricians for the Jacksonville Solace program, but children with Orthopedic needs are seeing Dr. Rick Picerno (married to Andrea Rose Picerno), also Rhodes alums.
Sahar has quickly become a part of our family. Yesterday afternoon, Sara heard her yell “Stop!” at Willam (in a big sister kind of way), when he was incessantly bugging her. William wasn’t deterred, and continued his annoyance. Sahar has also discovered our Wii and managed to beat both Caroline and William in bowling (she says she’s never bowled before?). We’ve also learned that Sahar is extremely social. The other 15 Afghan children seem to flock to her, and are frequent visitors to our house.
There’s much more I want to say, but must save it for later – thanks for the continued interest. I will do my best to provide more updates soon.
Bryan
Saturday, June 5, 2010
No More Dari for Dad
Okay, so the term “orphanage” loses something in translation between the United States and Afghanistan. As I currently understand it, Sahar is part of what is called an “orphanage” in Kabul, yet she has a family in Kabul as well, with a mom, dad, uncle, grandfather, brothers, and sisters. She lives at the “orphanage” during the week, and typically goes home on the weekend. So, it’s kind of like a boarding school – maybe? When I posed that question to the interpreters, I got an answer of “well, yes and no…” So, we are confused… It’s not a big deal – we just simply want to gain an understanding of Sahar’s life in Afghanistan – I think (and hope) we will gradually gain more of that understanding as the days go by.
Sahar has now had visits with the dentist, optometrist, and pediatrician. The dentist discovered serious tooth decay, which very well could be related to her chronic headaches. Thus, Sahar will most likely be spending some more quality time with our dentist soon. Everything checked out just fine at the optometrist and the pediatrician. Sara, who has accompanied Sahar to the appointments, has shared with me wonderful stories of the caring doctors, nurses, and staff members who have been seeing these children.
We’ve learned that Sahar is undoubtedly a nurturer. In the pictures we received of the Solace group in route to America, Sahar was always holding Hussein, a 5-year old boy – the youngest in the Solace group. Since Sahar’s been here with us, she constantly gives attention to Chris, our 20 month old – she loves to hold him, play with him, etc. Chris, as our third child, loves the extra attention. William also adores Sahar, and Caroline has definitely established a bond with her now – there’s been lots of girl giggling over the past 24 hours…I guess that giggling is a universal thing.
We had our scheduled meeting with Sahar and one of the interpreters yesterday evening. Of course, by the time our meeting rolled around, we had learned that Sahar actually knows a significant amount of English. She knows basic English quite well. What the interpreter meeting did reveal to me, personally, is that I need to stop trying to speak Dari with Sahar… I realized that when I told Sahar in Dari that our dog Allie was “wild”, I was telling her that Allie would bite her. It also seems I erroneously told her on her first day that we were going swimming in the river. So, my family has now banned me from additional attempts to speak Dari – probably a good idea. The interpreter shared with us her assessment of Sahar’s outstanding potential – apparently, she’s an amazing student, and the interpreter, currently a student at the University of Richmond, hopes that Sahar could one day return to America for college, as well.
While we’re still facing some challenges, Sahar seems to become more comfortable with our family every day, and vice versa. We’re really looking forward to Sahar attending church with us tomorrow, so the wonderful people at our church who helped finance her journey here can finally meet her. We’re also looking forward to dinner tomorrow evening with the other host families, children, and interpreters.
Please continue to keep all 16 of the Afghan children, the 2 interpreters, and the many host families in your prayers. Many of the children and their host families still have challenging journeys ahead, from the medical perspective. These are 16 of God’s very precious children, who have so incredibly much to offer and share. We feel quite blessed to have one of them sharing in the life of our family.
Bryan
Sahar has now had visits with the dentist, optometrist, and pediatrician. The dentist discovered serious tooth decay, which very well could be related to her chronic headaches. Thus, Sahar will most likely be spending some more quality time with our dentist soon. Everything checked out just fine at the optometrist and the pediatrician. Sara, who has accompanied Sahar to the appointments, has shared with me wonderful stories of the caring doctors, nurses, and staff members who have been seeing these children.
We’ve learned that Sahar is undoubtedly a nurturer. In the pictures we received of the Solace group in route to America, Sahar was always holding Hussein, a 5-year old boy – the youngest in the Solace group. Since Sahar’s been here with us, she constantly gives attention to Chris, our 20 month old – she loves to hold him, play with him, etc. Chris, as our third child, loves the extra attention. William also adores Sahar, and Caroline has definitely established a bond with her now – there’s been lots of girl giggling over the past 24 hours…I guess that giggling is a universal thing.
We had our scheduled meeting with Sahar and one of the interpreters yesterday evening. Of course, by the time our meeting rolled around, we had learned that Sahar actually knows a significant amount of English. She knows basic English quite well. What the interpreter meeting did reveal to me, personally, is that I need to stop trying to speak Dari with Sahar… I realized that when I told Sahar in Dari that our dog Allie was “wild”, I was telling her that Allie would bite her. It also seems I erroneously told her on her first day that we were going swimming in the river. So, my family has now banned me from additional attempts to speak Dari – probably a good idea. The interpreter shared with us her assessment of Sahar’s outstanding potential – apparently, she’s an amazing student, and the interpreter, currently a student at the University of Richmond, hopes that Sahar could one day return to America for college, as well.
While we’re still facing some challenges, Sahar seems to become more comfortable with our family every day, and vice versa. We’re really looking forward to Sahar attending church with us tomorrow, so the wonderful people at our church who helped finance her journey here can finally meet her. We’re also looking forward to dinner tomorrow evening with the other host families, children, and interpreters.
Please continue to keep all 16 of the Afghan children, the 2 interpreters, and the many host families in your prayers. Many of the children and their host families still have challenging journeys ahead, from the medical perspective. These are 16 of God’s very precious children, who have so incredibly much to offer and share. We feel quite blessed to have one of them sharing in the life of our family.
Bryan
Friday, June 4, 2010
The first 24 hours...or so...
If I could somehow get paid lots of money to worry as much one could possibly worry, I would be a multi-millionaire. And, I would have doubled my income on the night prior to Sahar’s arrival. That was a challenging night at the Coker house – those proverbial moments just before we took the big plunge. Since we first decided to participate in Solace, I had been overly concerned about the age of the child we would host. I was adamant that we have a child close in age to Caroline, and definitely not older than Caroline, who turns 9 today – I didn’t really have any good reasoning or justification for that, but was adamant about it, nonetheless. So, I was uneasy when I first learned that Sahar, the child we would host, was 11 years old. However, when we received a picture of her a couple of months ago, and she looked so sweet – I told myself it would be okay. Then, just around midnight on Tuesday night (the evening prior to Sahar’s arrival), Angie Cosper e-mailed to all the host families pictures of the Solace children in route to America. At first, Sara and I couldn’t even identify Sahar in any of those pictures. Then, by process of elimination, we found her, and she looked 18, and very tall. So, I – at that point – kind of freaked out. I didn’t sleep a wink that night, and obsessively worried about how we could possibly tell Caroline the next morning that she would soon be sharing her room with a very tall 18 year old.
The next (dreaded) morning, I was reminded of just why I married the woman with whom I have spent almost 14 years now. Sara showed Caroline those pictures, and handled the conversation with an ease and style that left me speechless. And, then I watched Caroline’s reaction to what Sara had said, and I immediately became one proud Daddy. Then, I began feeling like a real idiot for the way in which I had reacted – all night long.
I also reached a realization that morning – okay, Sara told me – that few of the visiting children were matched with host families having children the same age as the visiting children. And, I realized there was probably a good reason for that, based on experience well beyond any experience I had with the program (which was none, at that point). So, I felt like an even bigger idiot.
Next, we ventured to the airport, and in the hour we spent waiting on the children to arrive, I felt a growing level of love, energy, and anticipation like I have rarely experienced before. Sara, the kids, and I were there, Dorothy (Sara’s mom) and Stephen (brother) were there. Rev. Susan Takis, one of our Pastors from South Jax Presbyterian, was there. All of the host families and their supporters were there. The media, including our friend, Deanna Fene’ Holland, from First Coast News was there with cameraman in tow. Then, Angie Cosper ventured past the security checkpoint to escort the children from the plane to the awaiting throng of supporters. It was a great moment when we watched Angie and the group of Afghan children round the corner, and begin heading toward us. Then, I realized something – these kids were all really short, and while Sahar was tall relative to many of them, she definitely was not the WNBA star I had pictured in the previous hours. Essentially, what I saw at that moment was an absolutely beautiful group of children, all with hope beaming from their faces. Then, we saw Sahar and she saw us, holding a sign with her picture on it – then, we met her – what an amazing, emotional moment that was. Wow.
We had some time with the interpreters to make introductions, and then we headed home, with Chris fussing from lack of a nap, most of the way. The next few hours were, overall, good – there were some challenges and adjustments for all of us, but I think we all – including Sahar – handled it well. Sahar was, understandably, exhausted. Our family is approaching every challenge and interaction with the constant awareness that this is a young woman who resides in an orphanage on the other side of the world. We cannot even imagine her frame of reference on life, on America, and on us.
Sahar is very reserved and quiet, so, engaging her has been a challenge for us (as if the substantial language barrier was not enough already). I believe I drove her nuts the first day, following her around the house with my 80-page Dari to English translation guide, pointing out everything we encountered in her language (…sofa, lamp, etc…).
I could say so much more, but my allotted blogging time has expired for now – I’ll provide more info later, including a report from the numerous medical appointments, which Sahar begins today, as well as our coveted time with an interpreter scheduled for this evening. And finally, Happy 9th Birthday to our Sweet Caroline!!
Bryan
The next (dreaded) morning, I was reminded of just why I married the woman with whom I have spent almost 14 years now. Sara showed Caroline those pictures, and handled the conversation with an ease and style that left me speechless. And, then I watched Caroline’s reaction to what Sara had said, and I immediately became one proud Daddy. Then, I began feeling like a real idiot for the way in which I had reacted – all night long.
I also reached a realization that morning – okay, Sara told me – that few of the visiting children were matched with host families having children the same age as the visiting children. And, I realized there was probably a good reason for that, based on experience well beyond any experience I had with the program (which was none, at that point). So, I felt like an even bigger idiot.
Next, we ventured to the airport, and in the hour we spent waiting on the children to arrive, I felt a growing level of love, energy, and anticipation like I have rarely experienced before. Sara, the kids, and I were there, Dorothy (Sara’s mom) and Stephen (brother) were there. Rev. Susan Takis, one of our Pastors from South Jax Presbyterian, was there. All of the host families and their supporters were there. The media, including our friend, Deanna Fene’ Holland, from First Coast News was there with cameraman in tow. Then, Angie Cosper ventured past the security checkpoint to escort the children from the plane to the awaiting throng of supporters. It was a great moment when we watched Angie and the group of Afghan children round the corner, and begin heading toward us. Then, I realized something – these kids were all really short, and while Sahar was tall relative to many of them, she definitely was not the WNBA star I had pictured in the previous hours. Essentially, what I saw at that moment was an absolutely beautiful group of children, all with hope beaming from their faces. Then, we saw Sahar and she saw us, holding a sign with her picture on it – then, we met her – what an amazing, emotional moment that was. Wow.
We had some time with the interpreters to make introductions, and then we headed home, with Chris fussing from lack of a nap, most of the way. The next few hours were, overall, good – there were some challenges and adjustments for all of us, but I think we all – including Sahar – handled it well. Sahar was, understandably, exhausted. Our family is approaching every challenge and interaction with the constant awareness that this is a young woman who resides in an orphanage on the other side of the world. We cannot even imagine her frame of reference on life, on America, and on us.
Sahar is very reserved and quiet, so, engaging her has been a challenge for us (as if the substantial language barrier was not enough already). I believe I drove her nuts the first day, following her around the house with my 80-page Dari to English translation guide, pointing out everything we encountered in her language (…sofa, lamp, etc…).
I could say so much more, but my allotted blogging time has expired for now – I’ll provide more info later, including a report from the numerous medical appointments, which Sahar begins today, as well as our coveted time with an interpreter scheduled for this evening. And finally, Happy 9th Birthday to our Sweet Caroline!!
Bryan
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Great News Coverage
Some great local news coverage worth checking out...
First Coast News story on the Solace for the Children program…(click on the video link). Many thanks to Deanna Fene' Holland for this great story.
Article from the Florida Times-Union
More info/updates to come soon...
Bryan
First Coast News story on the Solace for the Children program…(click on the video link). Many thanks to Deanna Fene' Holland for this great story.
Article from the Florida Times-Union
More info/updates to come soon...
Bryan
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Amazing!
Sahar and the other 15 children and 2 interpreters have arrived safe and sound! The past 24 hours have been an emotional roller coaster of sorts, but it all came together around 10:30 AM this morning, when the children and interpreters arrived to an amazing crowd at the airport. I can’t quite articulate right now (didn’t sleep a wink last night) just what an amazing experience the airport arrival was. Love is an amazing language – love is just an amazing thing… I’ll do my best to write more soon – for now, just enjoy the pics…
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
“It will change you…”
First, I would encourage any of you following the blog to view a video about Solace for the Children at the site below, if you have not already seen it – the video provides a great glimpse into what this program is all about:
http://www.solaceforthechildren.org/press_video.html.
Question of the day – How comfortable are Afghans with goo in the refrigerator? Sara and I pondered this question last night, as we debated which one of us would be cleaning up the strange goo which was visible at the bottom of one of the produce bins in our refrigerator. We thought the goo might freak out Sahar, and so I ended up cleaning it…
Also last night, I sat in our family room, contemplating the fact that, if all goes as planned, Sahar would be sleeping under our roof in less than 48 hours now. (Well, I hope she will be sleeping…I am, admittedly, a little nervous about potential disruptions in our routines [i.e., sleep]). The anticipated arrival time for the Solace children is tomorrow (Wednesday) morning, around 10:15 AM Eastern Time at Jacksonville airport. Yesterday afternoon, we hosted a get-together at our home, where many of the host families came together to make “welcome” signs for our airport greeting. Of course, we fully realize the Afghan children will not be able to read our festive “welcome” signs, written in the English language, but surely the general spectacle will get their attention and convey our excitement.
When Patsy Wilson, the Executive Director of Solace, visited our home a few months ago, we discussed our family’s decision to participate in this program, and I vividly remember Patsy saying, “It will change you forever…” At this point, I wonder just how this experience will change our family. What’s amazing, though, is the impact the experience is already having upon our family… Our children have already had their minds opened to the reality of a world starkly different from their everyday existence – undoubtedly, a privileged existence. I have enjoyed some priceless conversations in the car with William recently, about orphanages and about life in Afghanistan. We recently heard from Caroline’s 3rd grade teacher about just how much Caroline has been thinking about this adventure – it’s been the topic of her journals and many conversations in recent months.
As for our anticipated schedule in the coming days… We expect that Sahar and the other children will arrive exhausted, and in need of sleep. Then, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday the children will then begin the process of complete dental, optical, and medical screenings. We’re quite excited about having one of the interpreters to our home for dinner on Friday evening – this will be our first opportunity to attempt a legitimate “conversation” of sorts with Sahar. There is so much we will want to know about her…her background, her daily life, her initial impressions of life with our family, etc.
We anticipate the Afghan children will arrive with very little in the way of luggage and possessions… So, Sara and Caroline have already been clothes shopping for Sahar, simply guessing her size from the one snapshot photo of her we currently have. Dorothy (Sara’s mom) is ready and on-call Wednesday, to make a run to Target, in the event we have guessed incorrectly her size.
As you are reading this, the 16 Afghan children and 2 interpreters have already begun their journey to America. Please hold these children and the interpreters close in prayer, as well as the families here who anxiously await their arrival. Much more to come soon…
Bryan
http://www.solaceforthechildren.org/press_video.html.
Question of the day – How comfortable are Afghans with goo in the refrigerator? Sara and I pondered this question last night, as we debated which one of us would be cleaning up the strange goo which was visible at the bottom of one of the produce bins in our refrigerator. We thought the goo might freak out Sahar, and so I ended up cleaning it…
Also last night, I sat in our family room, contemplating the fact that, if all goes as planned, Sahar would be sleeping under our roof in less than 48 hours now. (Well, I hope she will be sleeping…I am, admittedly, a little nervous about potential disruptions in our routines [i.e., sleep]). The anticipated arrival time for the Solace children is tomorrow (Wednesday) morning, around 10:15 AM Eastern Time at Jacksonville airport. Yesterday afternoon, we hosted a get-together at our home, where many of the host families came together to make “welcome” signs for our airport greeting. Of course, we fully realize the Afghan children will not be able to read our festive “welcome” signs, written in the English language, but surely the general spectacle will get their attention and convey our excitement.
When Patsy Wilson, the Executive Director of Solace, visited our home a few months ago, we discussed our family’s decision to participate in this program, and I vividly remember Patsy saying, “It will change you forever…” At this point, I wonder just how this experience will change our family. What’s amazing, though, is the impact the experience is already having upon our family… Our children have already had their minds opened to the reality of a world starkly different from their everyday existence – undoubtedly, a privileged existence. I have enjoyed some priceless conversations in the car with William recently, about orphanages and about life in Afghanistan. We recently heard from Caroline’s 3rd grade teacher about just how much Caroline has been thinking about this adventure – it’s been the topic of her journals and many conversations in recent months.
As for our anticipated schedule in the coming days… We expect that Sahar and the other children will arrive exhausted, and in need of sleep. Then, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday the children will then begin the process of complete dental, optical, and medical screenings. We’re quite excited about having one of the interpreters to our home for dinner on Friday evening – this will be our first opportunity to attempt a legitimate “conversation” of sorts with Sahar. There is so much we will want to know about her…her background, her daily life, her initial impressions of life with our family, etc.
We anticipate the Afghan children will arrive with very little in the way of luggage and possessions… So, Sara and Caroline have already been clothes shopping for Sahar, simply guessing her size from the one snapshot photo of her we currently have. Dorothy (Sara’s mom) is ready and on-call Wednesday, to make a run to Target, in the event we have guessed incorrectly her size.
As you are reading this, the 16 Afghan children and 2 interpreters have already begun their journey to America. Please hold these children and the interpreters close in prayer, as well as the families here who anxiously await their arrival. Much more to come soon…
Bryan
Friday, May 28, 2010
Humor Arriving Soon...
Okay, blog followers - my wife has admonished me by informing me that this blog, thus far, is too serious and rather academic in tone. I am not apologizing for the serious/academic tone, 'cause, well - that's me, much of the time. However, I will do what I can to infuse some humor and frivolity into the blog soon. Undoubtedly, there has to be some humor forthcoming in this experience - we have a girl from Afghanistan, who speaks no English, coming to live in our typically chaotic home for six weeks. And, she already suffers from chronic headaches - I am hoping Sahar can tolerate all of us, along with Allie the Goldendoodle, too. She'll quickly learn just what a handful Chris B. Coker (our 20 month old) is, and she'll fully experience the circus that is our nightly dinner table. In fact, if Sahar doesn't turn around and leave our house within the first week, I will likely consider this experience a success.
Bryan
Bryan
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Interfaith Dialogue
Tonight, there was a gathering of the Solace for the Children host families and some members of Jacksonville’s Islamic community. A conversation and dialogue were lead by Dr. Parvez Ahmed, a faculty member at the University of North Florida, and a popular subject in the local media as of late. Dr. Ahmed was recently appointed by the Mayor of Jacksonville to the city’s Human Rights Commission, but one member of the City Council took issue with Ahmed’s appointment. The controversy fueled significant local debate about the Islamic faith, and in retrospect, was definitely not Jacksonville’s finest hour. Ultimately, reason prevailed, and Dr. Ahmed was seated in his rightful and appropriate place on the Human Rights Commission. Tonight’s event made for a wonderful interfaith dialogue, and there was undoubtedly a certain beauty to the event – a gathering of Christians in one of the city’s predominantly upper-middle class neighborhoods, participating in an interfaith dialogue with members of the Muslim faith, regarding a group of needy children from Afghanistan travelling to Jacksonville in just one week – not something you see every day.
Today, we got the official word that the 16 children and 2 interpreters are due to arrive in Jacksonville next Wednesday (June 2) at 10:15 A.M. All of the host families will be at the airport, to greet the children as they arrive. It’s just a week now – that’s tough to believe. My worries and anxieties about the experience are, admittedly, rather simple… I worry that Sahar and Caroline won’t click, which would be disappointing, since Caroline is so incredibly excited about Sahar’s arrival. I worry about the unknown of just how this new person in the mix will affect our family routine for six weeks. I worry about Sahar’s medical condition…”chronic headaches” can mean so many different things – and, I worry that the headaches might affect her ability to enjoy the Solace experience with our family… The challenge for me – and my goal – will be to allow myself to enjoy the experience, and not allow my experience to be held hostage by simple worries, and premature anxiety about how our family will handle Sahar’s inevitable return to Afghanistan.
My prayer is that this will be a positive, rewarding, eye-opening, and transformative experience for our family – especially our children.
Bryan
Today, we got the official word that the 16 children and 2 interpreters are due to arrive in Jacksonville next Wednesday (June 2) at 10:15 A.M. All of the host families will be at the airport, to greet the children as they arrive. It’s just a week now – that’s tough to believe. My worries and anxieties about the experience are, admittedly, rather simple… I worry that Sahar and Caroline won’t click, which would be disappointing, since Caroline is so incredibly excited about Sahar’s arrival. I worry about the unknown of just how this new person in the mix will affect our family routine for six weeks. I worry about Sahar’s medical condition…”chronic headaches” can mean so many different things – and, I worry that the headaches might affect her ability to enjoy the Solace experience with our family… The challenge for me – and my goal – will be to allow myself to enjoy the experience, and not allow my experience to be held hostage by simple worries, and premature anxiety about how our family will handle Sahar’s inevitable return to Afghanistan.
My prayer is that this will be a positive, rewarding, eye-opening, and transformative experience for our family – especially our children.
Bryan
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Not much longer...
The sixteen children and two interpreters from Afghanistan will be arriving here in Jacksonville in just 10 or 11 days…that’s tough to believe. It is even tougher to believe that Sahar will soon be living under our roof…a girl none of us have ever met, from an orphanage in a foreign country – wow. Caroline is so excited about Sahar’s arrival – it’s almost all she talks about these days – she’s memorized the names and photos of all the 16 children who are coming. Personally, I am both excited and nervous – excited about beginning this adventure, but nervous about the unknown. William, our “in the moment/free-spirited” child, knows Sahar is coming soon and occasionally asks questions. Chris has been shown pictures of Sahar and looks at the pictures when he hears her name.
Today, Caroline and I spoke about Solace for the Children at both the early and late services at our church. I could not have been any prouder of Caroline – she spoke so confidently – her passion for this experience was so obvious.
For those of you who share Rhodes College connections with Sara and me, you may recall Chris Emanuel from the class of 1992 – Chris was a senior at Rhodes when Sara and I were freshmen. For a few years now, Chris has been a pediatrician here in Jacksonville, and we are very blessed that Chris has been our pediatrician since we moved here in 2003. Chris is playing a major role in the Solace program, serving as one of the lead pediatricians for the Afghan children. We are so thankful to Chris and his colleagues at Baptist Pediatrics-San Jose for being so quick to embrace Solace.
The children will arrive in Jacksonville next week on June 2 or 3 – each host family will be meeting their assigned child at the airport when the group arrives, accompanied by the two interpreters. Angie Cosper, the Jacksonville program coordinator, is currently finalizing all of the arrangements. On the subject of Angie…
Angie and Chip Cosper were, with the exception of my work colleagues, some of our first friends in Jacksonville when we arrived here over seven years ago. For those who don’t know the Cospers, they are some of the most open-hearted, giving people you will ever meet. They are the type of friends who are inevitably there in your time of greatest need. It is because of the Cospers that Jacksonville has gotten one of the first branches of the Solace for the Children program. Angie formed a relationship with Patsy Wilson, the Solace founder, when Angie and family hosted “Fakahria”, a young Afghan girl here last year, when Fakharia required major heart surgery. Fakharia is returning to Jacksonville next week for the summer program, and will be staying with the Cospers again.
I imagine some readers are anxious for me to place a picture of Sahar on the blog – as I previously mentioned, pictures of the Afghan children are somewhat of a sensitive issue. Regardless, with Angie’s and Patsy’s permission, I will likely post of a picture of Sahar once she has arrived at our home.
Please keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming our way, as we prepare for experience.
Bryan
Today, Caroline and I spoke about Solace for the Children at both the early and late services at our church. I could not have been any prouder of Caroline – she spoke so confidently – her passion for this experience was so obvious.
For those of you who share Rhodes College connections with Sara and me, you may recall Chris Emanuel from the class of 1992 – Chris was a senior at Rhodes when Sara and I were freshmen. For a few years now, Chris has been a pediatrician here in Jacksonville, and we are very blessed that Chris has been our pediatrician since we moved here in 2003. Chris is playing a major role in the Solace program, serving as one of the lead pediatricians for the Afghan children. We are so thankful to Chris and his colleagues at Baptist Pediatrics-San Jose for being so quick to embrace Solace.
The children will arrive in Jacksonville next week on June 2 or 3 – each host family will be meeting their assigned child at the airport when the group arrives, accompanied by the two interpreters. Angie Cosper, the Jacksonville program coordinator, is currently finalizing all of the arrangements. On the subject of Angie…
Angie and Chip Cosper were, with the exception of my work colleagues, some of our first friends in Jacksonville when we arrived here over seven years ago. For those who don’t know the Cospers, they are some of the most open-hearted, giving people you will ever meet. They are the type of friends who are inevitably there in your time of greatest need. It is because of the Cospers that Jacksonville has gotten one of the first branches of the Solace for the Children program. Angie formed a relationship with Patsy Wilson, the Solace founder, when Angie and family hosted “Fakahria”, a young Afghan girl here last year, when Fakharia required major heart surgery. Fakharia is returning to Jacksonville next week for the summer program, and will be staying with the Cospers again.
I imagine some readers are anxious for me to place a picture of Sahar on the blog – as I previously mentioned, pictures of the Afghan children are somewhat of a sensitive issue. Regardless, with Angie’s and Patsy’s permission, I will likely post of a picture of Sahar once she has arrived at our home.
Please keep the prayers and positive thoughts coming our way, as we prepare for experience.
Bryan
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Blogging with caution…
I will be blogging with caution this summer – for those of you who followed the blog about the loss of Sara’s dad, you might find this blog to be a bit different. When posting to this blog, I must be mindful of various sensitivities, predominantly rooted in the Muslim culture and the fact that Afghanistan is a war-torn nation. So, there will be some subjects I avoid altogether and other subjects around which I will delicately dance – you get the picture. And, speaking of pictures – I am not sure how many I will be posting – I am going to have to play that by ear – that’s a sensitivity, as well.
Sahar and eighteen other Afghan children will be here in less than a month now. In my last post, I spoke of my greatest worry about this experience…it’s not the language barrier or the pending disruption to our household routines. My biggest worry is how our family will ultimately deal with the inevitable act of sending Sahar back to Afghanistan – back to an orphanage, nonetheless, and generally deal with sending all of these children back to a country at war. This has been my greatest concern since we first considered participating in the Solace program. I really had to engage in some deep thinking, prayer, and soul-searching about Solace…until it all finally ‘clicked’ for me. First, it’s important for everyone to understand that adoption is not an option with Afghan children – just Google “adopting children from Afghanistan” and you will quickly learn this. The concept of adoption is not acknowledged in the Muslim culture, and adoption of a Muslim child by a Christian family would be unfathomable. Children in Afghan orphanages stay in those orphanages until adulthood, if they live that long. Thus, the Solace for the Children program offers what is, in all likelihood, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for these Afghan children – one chance to experience a different way of life, and simultaneously have medical needs met which cannot be met in their home country. When this clicked for me, I chose the title for this blog, Summer of Solace – because our family is providing a “summer of solace” for an Afghan child…solace from a war-torn country…solace from poverty…solace from many things… And, when you consider the peace-promoting objectives of Solace…those objectives cannot be met if the children do not return to Afghanistan.
As host families, we have begun to learn bits and pieces about all of the 18 children coming to Jacksonville, and have seen pictures of each of them. The most profound and touching story thus far involves a young girl who is reachable in remote Afghanistan only by a two hour donkey ride (I’m not making this up). My understanding of her medical need is that one of her arms has substantial buildup of scar tissue, due to burns she has received – this condition seriously limits use of her arm. Simply keeping track of this young girl in such a remote location has proved quite challenging for the Solace representatives on the ground in Afghanistan.
Out of respect for the Muslim background of these children, this will be a pork-free six week experience for our family and the other host families. We have been asked to avoid shellfish as well, due to potential allergies. For those of you who know how very much I love bacon, shrimp, and oysters…well, you know how I am feeling.
Bryan
Sahar and eighteen other Afghan children will be here in less than a month now. In my last post, I spoke of my greatest worry about this experience…it’s not the language barrier or the pending disruption to our household routines. My biggest worry is how our family will ultimately deal with the inevitable act of sending Sahar back to Afghanistan – back to an orphanage, nonetheless, and generally deal with sending all of these children back to a country at war. This has been my greatest concern since we first considered participating in the Solace program. I really had to engage in some deep thinking, prayer, and soul-searching about Solace…until it all finally ‘clicked’ for me. First, it’s important for everyone to understand that adoption is not an option with Afghan children – just Google “adopting children from Afghanistan” and you will quickly learn this. The concept of adoption is not acknowledged in the Muslim culture, and adoption of a Muslim child by a Christian family would be unfathomable. Children in Afghan orphanages stay in those orphanages until adulthood, if they live that long. Thus, the Solace for the Children program offers what is, in all likelihood, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for these Afghan children – one chance to experience a different way of life, and simultaneously have medical needs met which cannot be met in their home country. When this clicked for me, I chose the title for this blog, Summer of Solace – because our family is providing a “summer of solace” for an Afghan child…solace from a war-torn country…solace from poverty…solace from many things… And, when you consider the peace-promoting objectives of Solace…those objectives cannot be met if the children do not return to Afghanistan.
As host families, we have begun to learn bits and pieces about all of the 18 children coming to Jacksonville, and have seen pictures of each of them. The most profound and touching story thus far involves a young girl who is reachable in remote Afghanistan only by a two hour donkey ride (I’m not making this up). My understanding of her medical need is that one of her arms has substantial buildup of scar tissue, due to burns she has received – this condition seriously limits use of her arm. Simply keeping track of this young girl in such a remote location has proved quite challenging for the Solace representatives on the ground in Afghanistan.
Out of respect for the Muslim background of these children, this will be a pork-free six week experience for our family and the other host families. We have been asked to avoid shellfish as well, due to potential allergies. For those of you who know how very much I love bacon, shrimp, and oysters…well, you know how I am feeling.
Bryan
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sure, we're nuts...
Thanks to those who came out to our presentation tonight about our upcoming Solace experience and welcome if you’re tuning in to this blog for the first time. And once again, thanks so much to those of you who have given us your support thus far – whether it be financial, or simply the gift of your prayers and positive encouragement.
We greatly appreciate those of you who are taking the time to learn about Solace for the Children – because once you learn about it, you get it. If you had told me one year ago that our family would now be engaging in fundraising and preparations to host a child from Afghanistan, I would have laughed and said you were nuts. We had never considered such an endeavor to be “our type of thing”. Thus, if you recently said “those Cokers are nuts” when you first heard we were doing this, that’s okay – really, I would have said the same thing just one year ago.
So, just why are we doing this…? In my work with young adults, I have often said, “To those whom much is given, much is expected”. Sara and I feel truly blessed – our life isn’t perfect (and I wouldn’t want it to be perfect), but we know we have been richly blessed beyond measure in many ways. And, it was as a result of some very dark moments two years ago – the tragic death of Sara’s father – that, ironically, we came to truly realize how incredibly blessed we were. Thus, we feel compelled to embrace this incredible opportunity to give back which has been placed in our path. We also believe this will be an incredible experience for our children – as Sara often says, we are bringing a mission trip to them.
I sincerely hope you will take the time to visit Solace for the Children’s website, to learn about this dynamic organization which is based in North Carolina, and is now branching out to Jacksonville and Los Angeles. We had the opportunity to welcome the organization’s Executive Director, Patsy Wilson, into our home in February – she is an incredible person who radiates a spirit of love and giving. Like always, Sara and I did our research before deciding to take this leap of faith – and we now believe strongly in what this organization does, and in how they accomplish it.
This year, 16 children and two interpreters will be arriving in Jacksonville on June 2 and staying through July 14. There are 14 host families here for the children, as well as host families for the interpreters. The children have varying medical needs for which they will receive treatment in Jacksonville, ranging from cleft palate to a child who needs a tonsillectomy. Of course, while meeting the medical needs is the foundation and primary purpose of these children visiting America, the program is about much more… This is an Interfaith, peace-building endeavor – promoting peace between Christians and Muslims, between Americans and Afghans, and perhaps most important, promoting peace among Afghans.
“Sahar”, a girl from Kabul, will be joining our family for the 6-week Solace program. We believe Sahar is likely 10 or 11 years old, and we are told she suffers from chronic headaches. While we are not yet certain, we believe Sahar likely lives in an orphanage in Kabul. On that note, I could write paragraphs about the plight of children in Afghanistan, simply based on how much we have learned over the past two months. The situation in Afghanistan is a complex one, and is difficult to comprehend through the Western lens by which most of us view the world.
Some topics to be covered in future blog entries (perhaps this will serve as a reminder for me to write about them): dealing with the Dari-English language barrier, Muslim traditions and diet, Solace financial costs, the incredible physicians and dentists of Jacksonville, and what my greatest ‘worry’ is about this upcoming experience…
If you would like to make a contribution to our Solace experience (we’re still fundraising) or if you would like to learn about other ways in which you can potentially become involved, please e-mail Sara at sara.coker@att.net or me (Bryan) at bcoker1@ju.edu for more information.
Bryan
We greatly appreciate those of you who are taking the time to learn about Solace for the Children – because once you learn about it, you get it. If you had told me one year ago that our family would now be engaging in fundraising and preparations to host a child from Afghanistan, I would have laughed and said you were nuts. We had never considered such an endeavor to be “our type of thing”. Thus, if you recently said “those Cokers are nuts” when you first heard we were doing this, that’s okay – really, I would have said the same thing just one year ago.
So, just why are we doing this…? In my work with young adults, I have often said, “To those whom much is given, much is expected”. Sara and I feel truly blessed – our life isn’t perfect (and I wouldn’t want it to be perfect), but we know we have been richly blessed beyond measure in many ways. And, it was as a result of some very dark moments two years ago – the tragic death of Sara’s father – that, ironically, we came to truly realize how incredibly blessed we were. Thus, we feel compelled to embrace this incredible opportunity to give back which has been placed in our path. We also believe this will be an incredible experience for our children – as Sara often says, we are bringing a mission trip to them.
I sincerely hope you will take the time to visit Solace for the Children’s website, to learn about this dynamic organization which is based in North Carolina, and is now branching out to Jacksonville and Los Angeles. We had the opportunity to welcome the organization’s Executive Director, Patsy Wilson, into our home in February – she is an incredible person who radiates a spirit of love and giving. Like always, Sara and I did our research before deciding to take this leap of faith – and we now believe strongly in what this organization does, and in how they accomplish it.
This year, 16 children and two interpreters will be arriving in Jacksonville on June 2 and staying through July 14. There are 14 host families here for the children, as well as host families for the interpreters. The children have varying medical needs for which they will receive treatment in Jacksonville, ranging from cleft palate to a child who needs a tonsillectomy. Of course, while meeting the medical needs is the foundation and primary purpose of these children visiting America, the program is about much more… This is an Interfaith, peace-building endeavor – promoting peace between Christians and Muslims, between Americans and Afghans, and perhaps most important, promoting peace among Afghans.
“Sahar”, a girl from Kabul, will be joining our family for the 6-week Solace program. We believe Sahar is likely 10 or 11 years old, and we are told she suffers from chronic headaches. While we are not yet certain, we believe Sahar likely lives in an orphanage in Kabul. On that note, I could write paragraphs about the plight of children in Afghanistan, simply based on how much we have learned over the past two months. The situation in Afghanistan is a complex one, and is difficult to comprehend through the Western lens by which most of us view the world.
Some topics to be covered in future blog entries (perhaps this will serve as a reminder for me to write about them): dealing with the Dari-English language barrier, Muslim traditions and diet, Solace financial costs, the incredible physicians and dentists of Jacksonville, and what my greatest ‘worry’ is about this upcoming experience…
If you would like to make a contribution to our Solace experience (we’re still fundraising) or if you would like to learn about other ways in which you can potentially become involved, please e-mail Sara at sara.coker@att.net or me (Bryan) at bcoker1@ju.edu for more information.
Bryan
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Presentation - Wednesday, April 28, 2010
For our Jacksonville friends, you are welcome to join our family for a presentation about our upcoming Solace experience tomorrow evening (Wednesday, April 28, 2010) at 6:00 PM in the sanctuary of South Jacksonville Presbyterian Church. We will be explaining the Solace for the Children program and talking about how others can get involved in this extraordinary effort.
We have recently learned that we will be hosting a girl named "Sahar".
We have recently learned that we will be hosting a girl named "Sahar".
Monday, April 19, 2010
Stepping Outside the Comfort Zone
Our family has made the decision to step outside our comfort zone for the upcoming summer… The Coker family (Sara, Bryan, Caroline, William, & Chris) will be hosting a child from Afghanistan for six weeks, beginning June 3, 2010. We are doing this as part of the Solace for the Children program, which is bringing fifteen children from Afghanistan to Jacksonville this Summer – these children each have minor medical, dental, and/or optical needs. We sincerely thank our many friends who have already given us financial support for this endeavor, and we welcome all of your prayers in the coming weeks. Please stay tuned to this blog as we share with you our story for the Summer 2010, when we work to provide a "summer of solace" for an Afghan child.
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