I didn’t want to hear that…

Last night, I began a blog entry – which I never finished – writing about how it was 10 days until Sahar and the other children returned to Afghanistan (they return Wednesday, July 14) – I spoke of how Sahar was ready to return home, and we were comfortable and at peace with the idea of her returning. Twenty-four hours later, I feel slightly different about things. Sahar was very chatty and conversational with Sara and me today – the most she’s been during her time here. Earlier tonight, just Sahar and I were riding together to another host family’s home, and I took the opportunity to ask her some different questions. Later in our conversation, I asked Sahar if she heard or knew much about the fighting (the war) in Afghanistan, and she answered “no”, essentially saying her parents tended to shield her from that information. I then asked Sahar, “So, you feel safe in Kabul, right…?” She then looked at me and said adamantly, “No – my family does not feel safe in Kabul.” She almost laughed, in a serious kind of way, that I would even ask that question… Yikes, I did not want to hear that from her…

Prior to this experience beginning, my biggest worry had been how our family would handle the inevitable “goodbye” with Sahar. I had grown more comfortable and at peace with the idea, given that Sahar has a family in Afghanistan awaiting her return, even if she does not live with that family all the time. However, when she spoke about the safety issue tonight, it was, honestly, like a small dagger in my heart. Selfishly, I want to believe that Sahar is returning to an ideal situation – one where she can be happy and, of course, safe. Any assertion to the contrary makes saying “goodbye” to her even more difficult.

Sahar and I have talked often about her aspirations for the future, and she says that she hopes to attend college in America. I have told her, if she does move forward on that path, I will likely be in a position to help her, given my chosen profession. And, I believe college in America is a strong possibility for her, given what I have observed of her drive, motivation, and intelligence – this young woman, as far as I can tell, is brilliant. So, I would like to think that God’s plans for Sahar and for our family will, at some point, intersect yet again.

As I previously referenced, Sahar does seem ready, overall, to return to Afghanistan – she recently shared with us that she misses her family, particularly her mother. She seems very close to her family, with many members of her extended family living together in one residence in Kabul.

So, Sahar came to America with the Solace program largely because of the chronic headaches from which she suffers – we are often asked about the progress in addressing that issue. That’s a tough question for us… Simply put, we don’t think Sahar has experienced many headaches at all since she has been here with us. Her medical evaluations have not identified any issues which would cause the headaches, and even her numerous dental issues should not be causing such serious chronic headaches. So, we’re a bit perplexed on this question. Regardless, it could be that the pollution and other environmental factors in Kabul cause Sahar’s headaches, or it could even be her diet... Sahar isn’t much of a breakfast eater, but Sara now insists that Sahar eat a good breakfast daily. Regardless, Sahar will be returning home with many significant dental issues addressed, and hopefully, some better dietary habits (well, except for the potato chip thing).

Yesterday was a fourth of July like none other for our family…spending the evening with a group of children from Afghanistan, sharing with them our celebration of freedom. I can’t think of a better way to honor our founding fathers and all those who have fought for our freedom and independence, than by sharing these abundant blessings with others.

Bryan